Speechwriter Humor Pillows

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Political convention

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

We need a Europe of U-turns.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

"The White House Washington"

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

"...and to save you time, anything I say that comes back to haunt me, was something taken out of context."

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

"Well, you have to admire his honesty."

'He's still addressing the nation.'

"Smart stuff, Chip, but wise up and dumb it down."

New Mandate - Gun Control, Immigration Reform, Jobs, End of War, and Health Reform.

'I'm not saying I'm honest -- I'm saying that I'm afraid of getting caught!'