Speechwriter Humorist Gifts

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

We need a Europe of U-turns.

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

Information...political rhetoric

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

Kultural K9's.

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Hamlet in the craft shop.