Speechwriters Gifts

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Ban on Free Speech

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

We need a Europe of U-turns.

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"It's time to get politics out of money."

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Speech

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

Masters of Political Oratory

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

Like Minded

Time for speeches

"The White House Washington"

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'...and on that you have my word.'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'