Ghost Writer Gifts

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

Writer Puppet

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

'I once met the tweeter for a famous novelist, but never anyone who tweeted for an organic, patented plum.'

'I've always been a great fan of yours. I wrote all your books!'

'Mom...I need you to ghost write my English Essay.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Copycats

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Campaign for Plain English

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)