Ghost Story Writer Gifts

Condemned - Do Not Enter

"Meet The Author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Ghost School.

"Home depot."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

Zombies.

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

'Maybe fruit flies don't have souls.'

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

"Get a tomb!"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

I have taken over Sarahs body!

Marley had a little lamb

"Be or be not. There is no question."

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

"They must be from a time when it was safe to meet in the park at night."

Ghostship

Redlaw and the Phantom

Sir Desmond Murgatroyd

Welcome Ghost.

"Take my word for it, sir―it looks just great on you!"

'I think you'll get a kick out of our 'haunted' MRI, Mrs. Hanratty.'

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'