Ghost Story Teller Gifts

"And no matter how many times they got it redelivered they were never home to receive the package."

"Home depot."

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

"Oh, man! Please be a trick or treater ... "

Michael Vick's House.

'Nice to get some peace and quiet up here - away from all that trick or treat nonsense."

"He's not afraid because he thinks we're clouds where data is stored."

Ghost School.

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

Zombies.

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

'Maybe fruit flies don't have souls.'

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

Tim Burton

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

Welcome Ghost.

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

Redlaw and the Phantom

"They must be from a time when it was safe to meet in the park at night."

Ghostship

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."