Ghostly Storyteller Gifts

"Give it up, Carl. You’ve been dead for six months. You’re not gonna finish the novel."

"Home depot."

Ghost School.

Zombies.

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

'Maybe fruit flies don't have souls.'

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

Tim Burton

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

Redlaw and the Phantom

Ghostship

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Sir Desmond Murgatroyd

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"They must be from a time when it was safe to meet in the park at night."

Welcome Ghost.

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

Frankenstein's Ancestry

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

'Frankendumpty'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'I think you'll get a kick out of our 'haunted' MRI, Mrs. Hanratty.'