Spooky Storyteller Gifts

Long Lecture.

Peter Peter's House.

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

'I see live people.'

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

A ghost is at remedial school - 'OOB!'

"I see dead people!"

"My Mom says that's what happens if you eat too much Halloween candy."

"I want you kids to always follow your hopes and screams."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"I'm afraid natural light is out of the question."

'Well, of course you don't have to be afraid of the dark, silly...just the things lurking in it!'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

"Any kids here tonight? Oh, wait... I guess not...since I didn't see any on the menu."

'Well, Frank, I've told you a hundred times to tighten your neck bolts, but do you ever listen? Nooo!'

Happy Halloween

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

Who'd have thought a mere candle up the rear would yield such a spectacular effect!

'Put your head upon my shoulders...'

'They say on stormy nights, you can still hear Goldie screaming.'

"I'd like to have children, but, you know, food allergies..."

'This Guillermo Del Torro farm is creeping me out Barney!'

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

'Well, I think it's NEAT the the police like to get into the Halloween spirit, too!'

"It's a little bland, because I microwaved it."

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

A vampire pounces on Santa as he delivers presents.

Argh, typical! I always think of a terrifying thing to say after the s

Is your monster coming to the party, Doctor Frankenstein? I don't know. Part of him wants to and part of him doesn't.

Welcome to "The Ask Sadie Show," pre-Halloween edition. First caller is Zombie Eaton, from Schenectady. What's your problem?! Munch

"Maybe Dracula wasn't the best one to try this new detergent."

"The peep was so cute they wanted to eat him up. And they did... head first."

Dracula gets bitten by a mosquito

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."