Ghost Stories Gifts

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

'If you don't believe in yourself, who will?'

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

'I'm the ghost of non-sectarian midwinter public holiday future.'

A ghost is at remedial school - 'OOB!'

'Of course, we could drop the enquiry and agree to henceforth leave each other alone.'

'Sir, you need special help to fix this problem. Please hold the line whilst I put you through to our exorcist.'

'I only collect ghost-written books.'

Ghost appears to be struggling within sheet. Fellow ghost says: 'I warned you never to use fitted sheets.'

"You know, you wouldn't be blind if you would poke holes in your sheet."

'It's not mine.'

Frontispiece to 'A Book of Bargains' by V O'Sullivan- Depicts an Apparition from one of the Stories

'Oh, no! The poltergeist has taken up juggling.'

Moments before the legend of 'the headless horseman' is born.

"Class, Gracie's great aunt Carmen is here to share some fun Latino folk tales!"

'As a cemetery worker... I prefer working the 'graveyard' shift!'

'I think you'll get a kick out of our 'haunted' MRI, Mrs. Hanratty.'

Morgue.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

'This is the old Peterson place. Rumor has it the Mrs carved her husband up, made a pie from his innards, and then shoved a lit candle in his hollowed out carcass.'

Hunter haunted by Bunnies.

"Perhaps a glass of Chardonnay at the Bar a Vins?" Jacob said, invitingly. But when he turned, there was no one.

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

"High? This place is off he goddam charts."

"And as always, two-hundred no shows."

A ghost stares at a woman

He's a ghost but thinks he can still accomplish many things. A real can-do spirit!

Summarizing the obvious: The gang, lost in Nowheresville, Utah, was saved by the spirit of Sadie Cohen, warning them how to get to safety. But how, and why? Stow it. Sadie and her spirit couldn't stand the idea of being without us. It would've left her with no one to despise. I feel so needed. My spirit is on lockdown!!!

It's no use - she doesn

It's the ghost of Thanksgiving past

Death II

"Forget it, Lenny. He's on the 'Do-not-Haunt' list."

"Interesting story behind this one..."