Ghost Enthusiast Gifts

'If you don't believe in yourself, who will?'

'You can't wear that on site!....

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

"It's sweet how their presences linger on after the season."

"I feel invisible."

'Sorry buddy, we don't serve spirits here!'

When Ghosts Use their Boo Tooths.

Rides $1

'The Ghost of Birthday Present couldn't make it. I'm the Ghost of No Birthday Present.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"I want you kids to always follow your hopes and screams."

'Wake up! You're kissing the sheet again...'

"Do you believe in ghosts?"

"This has been my best day since 1987."

"I'm going to recommend you introduce some more iron into your diet."

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

"Sorry Kid, I can't afford a ticket, either!"

100 Places To Visit After You Die

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

Breastfeeding Ghost

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"If you don't give me any candy, I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your life!"

"I represent the estate of the deceased."

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

Hunter haunted by Bunnies.

"My brother sent me a text which is pretty amazing because he hates technology and he's dead."

Haunted New York

"The Crowdfunding"

I realize I'm scarier in the middle of the night, but I was always such a morning person.

Ghost of Christmas Past, I'm proud of my frugality. So get lost. One more thing to show you. You remember when you were a boy and lent lunch money to a classmate at 25 percent interest? This is what happened to that classmate. It's just a picture of Dennis Kucinich. I created a Socialist? There's more. Cue up the photo of AOC,

C'mon, admit it - I scared you a little.

That guy was such a hypochondriac.

I told you to watch out for the sidewalk vents.

Last Halloween I saw the ghost of a prehistoric man. Ooh, what was he doing? Haunting and gathering!