Ghost Fanatic Gifts

"Where's your candy."

'Yes...you gave me quite a start!'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Evolution.

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

Ghost School.

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Horror Stories.

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

"I loved the bit where you hid under the seat."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

Born of the Dead

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

'I'm not saying I won't eat left-brained people's brains, but I prefer right.'

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.