Get Well Guru Gifts

'You're looking well.'

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

Get Well cards. They're constantly coming up with new get well cards, but nothing sells as well as the one that makes it clear the sender had the same thing and worse.

Card: Get Human Soon!

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Lactose Intolerant

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Coronavirus Sisyphys

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"Gesundheit!"

Coronavirus Waves

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

National Academy of Sport

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."