Genius Gifts

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

The Proust of Twitter

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

'ADN'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Today at school...we did algorithms for Quantum computation.

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Money Tree

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

"I've devised a new paternity test, or as I call it, a pop quiz."

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

Writer's Block Party

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

T. S. Eliot

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."