Name Genius Gifts

'We're launching a billion-dollar space mission. We need a name. They say you're the best.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

The Proust of Twitter

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

'I have a feeling one day when he grows up he'll be an artist of some kind.'

Artist and Musician

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Work colleague says 'This is great, where do you get your ideas from?' as man gets them from small elves living in the wall

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"Sales are up 38% since the name change."

Bioengineering Lab, I put a little Dachshund DNA into a rabbit. Hare extensions!

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

Jokes machine.

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Today at school...we did algorithms for Quantum computation.

'ADN'

Money Tree

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

"I've devised a new paternity test, or as I call it, a pop quiz."

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'