Genealogy Genius Gifts

"I think I need a new hobby."

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

Several generations live together in Cuba

Family DNA

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

Welsh airport arrivals.

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'He's got your nose.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

Bioengineering Lab, I put a little Dachshund DNA into a rabbit. Hare extensions!

"That's lovely darling, but I don't think that's what your teacher meant when she asked you to draw your family tree..."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

'ADN'

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

Money Tree

"Ma didn't want to leave out anyone."

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

"I've devised a new paternity test, or as I call it, a pop quiz."

'This reminds me...what generation iPhone are you?'

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

"Yeah, my great-grandpa was shell-shocked in World War One too..."

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs (or bases), illustrating genetic inheritance within the family

How Moms explain.

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

'I've turned into my mother.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'