Genealogy Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm only interested in locating wealthy relatives.'

Jimmy, Sixth-Generation Pain in the Ass.

'Hey, half my chromosomes are YOURS, you know.'

Geneology Service: 'I'm afraid you fall into our 'better off not knowing' category....'

Billy listened spell-bound as his grandfather told him magical tales about the adventures of his ancestors.

The Descendants

'I've traced back my ancestors to Cleopatra's Sacred Nile Crocodiles...'

'No kings or noblemen, but you're descended from a guy whose cousin knew Benjamin Franklin's cook!'

'And this must be your . . .'

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

Pre-Ancestry.com

"Well Mum, after studying our family history, I'm so glad to have been born female..."

Several generations live together in Cuba

'I'm tracing our family tree, and guess who's the sap?.'

"Dad, are you absolutely sure I'm not adopted?"

'Do you, Cynthia, who is completely free of any genetic engineering, take Rodney, who is equally free...'

"My ancestor was a Tavern spider."

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

Trump's DNA Ancestry Chart

'I swear, everyday you get a little bit more like your father's, father's, father's, father's, father's, father.'

'He's my wife's second cousin three times removed, but he keeps coming back.'

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

"And this entire section is the obit of a very thorough genealogist."

"That's two days after you were born."

"This is your great, great uncle, twice removed, on your mother's side before your great, great aunt divorced him to marry your second great, great uncle."

"Baldo, this is your second cousin Magdalena."

"Yeah, my great-grandpa was shell-shocked in World War One too..."

"My tia Carmen is researching our family history. She says we're descended from a long line of adventurers and innovators."

"Thank you for coming with me. This is a sacred family tradition."

"I don't understand, people say I've got grandma's eyes but I've always had these..."

"Neat ancestors - biological?"

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"I knew my pest would eventually catch up with me."

"Can DNA testing really prove that George Washington was the 'Father if our Country'?"