Genealogy Buffs Gifts

"We've finished compiling each of your family trees."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

The First Fire Stick

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Several generations live together in Cuba

Sundial Time

Family DNA

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Lord George brings news of the debate

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

The Evolution Of Man.

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

Welsh airport arrivals.

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

I just made up that part. It should really throw people for a loop if they find this place thousands of years from now!

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'