Ancestry Enthusiast Gifts

A pig sits in front of warthog painting.

The cost is determined by how far back you want us to search.

In today's lesson, we'll talk about our ancestors 'The Mammoths'

"Since Gerald discovered he had 5% Viking DNA he insists on fitting in a bit of pillaging before tea."

"Gerald took a home DNA test and it claimed he was 0.5% Cherokee Indian."

"Our new employee Thomson's great-great-grandfather was Russian, his great-grandmother Greek,his great-grandfather German and his mother Spanish."

Portrait hall of broke ancestors.

'We've found your tree but your family are still living in it!'

'I started a family tree too, but I gave it up fairly quickly: Way too many relatives...'

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

'I'm reclaiming my roots.'

'Quite a lot of divorce in my family!'

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

"My exhaustive research is finished. I traced our family tree"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

"The test results indicate you're the descendant of a parade float."

"We've built on their ancestral moonshining grounds."

A caveman paints from life

Several generations live together in Cuba

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

Family DNA

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Antiques

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"You get your hair from your father's side..."