Gene Genius Gifts

Money Tree

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs.

Mendel and the Pea.

'Your honor - I own the patent to the entire guinea pig.' 'And I own the patent to the guinea pig's genes.'

DNA Test

"I've devised a new paternity test, or as I call it, a pop quiz."

'Tall, good-looking, muscular and wealthy! I can see where you are coming from Mrs Willets but that's not how it works.'

'But, what if we break the genetic code and they just CHANGE it?'

Novox Genlab - 'Stop!' scientist chases after four legged chicken.

'Hey Dad what is cloning?...Ask your mother!'

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

Cloning $6 - "No personal cheques - you think we were born yesterday?"

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'If we could just add one more gene to make the skeptical customer trust us.'

'Take me to the FBI...Do I have a story to tell about Novox Genlab!'

'ADN'

back to the old drawing board

'In the beginning, Biophase Genetics, Inc. created us.'

Bioengineering Lab, I put a little Dachshund DNA into a rabbit. Hare extensions!

It's exhausting being a DNA molecule - there's so much to remember!

Ask Doctor Ernie. "Dear Dr. Ernie, Are there any inherited traits that never skip a generation?" Fertility.

'At the end of the day stem cell research is only what you make of it.'

"I've discovered the gene that makes you such an idiot."

"Another advantage of genetic engineering: viruses you can see."

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

A day at the transgenic races

Sale! Weed Whackers

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Medicinal plants

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

"Oceans are rising, landmass is shrinking - so far so good."

Gene Therapy