Germ Genius Gifts

'Hold everything - we just discovered a newer flu virus.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Disease Management

The new normal

Sale! Weed Whackers

DumbbellsSmartbells.

'Kiddie school is teaching about sharing; and someone shared their cold with Jennie,'

"These new variants are triggering my impostor syndrome."

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Hand sanitizer

'That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again.'

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

Bioengineering Lab, I put a little Dachshund DNA into a rabbit. Hare extensions!

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

'ADN'

"Your right.. It is waving back at us."

Money Tree

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Oh, I dunno. hat would you like to evolve into?'

"I've devised a new paternity test, or as I call it, a pop quiz."

"We've discovered two new organisms growing from school gym lockers."

'Louis Pasteur, after discovering that microbes transmitted disease, experimented with methods for killing them'

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

'Mom, why do I have to wash both hands? I only eat with one of them.'

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

"Did you wash your hands?"

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

'We are parasites, but I think we also have parasites.'

"I started as a mundane disease ... but now I'm a super bacteria!"