Misunderstood Genious Gifts

'He has a learning disorder.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Introducing...Anagraman.

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

Storm in a magic lamp.

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

Bioengineering Lab, I put a little Dachshund DNA into a rabbit. Hare extensions!

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'I'm studying how other geniuses handled creative blocks.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

'ADN'

Einstein's T-Shirt Reads: I'm with Stupid (Arrows point everywhere).

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Money Tree

"I've devised a new paternity test, or as I call it, a pop quiz."

Leonardo's first drawing

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

'Very impressive. Do you have any post-kindergarten education?'

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

Candle Moment

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs.

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'Damn sea monkeys.'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

"Just come out and talk. I promise I won't wish for anything."

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."