Misunderstood Genius Gifts

Palm Reader...

'I don't think my Eric would fancy toilet paper that's been used before.'

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"She told me she was bi, but forgot to mention the polar part."

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

"Do you know Issac Newton discovered gravity in 1867? Before that people could fly."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

Introducing...Anagraman.

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

'I'm studying how other geniuses handled creative blocks.'

'Very impressive. Do you have any post-kindergarten education?'

'Damn sea monkeys.'

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

'He has a learning disorder.'

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

Chapter 3. Andrew's scheme backfires.

'Oh, I know I get an allowance for cleaning up my room, but I'm on vacation this week.'

"You monster!"

Pentagon Science Contest: 'I get that a lot...must be from being in the presence of raw genius.'

"Harold is a closet intellectual and he's never coming out."

"Aren't you afraid you might get too smart?"

Carving a Sculpture.

As is often the case, many of the world's great discoveries are accidental.

'Password, password - come on Memory!'

'My idea's quite simple really. Put the money in the bag!'

'I make a great business consultant because I'm too smart to have a business of my own.'

"Here it is, world! Extra-terrestrial intelligence! Me!"

"Just because the universe is expanding doesn't give you an excuse to expand with it, Fred."

"Forgive the informality—my secretary is on vacation."

Help! Original inventor of multi-tasking.

'I've forgotten what I'm driving at."