Hypothetical Genius Gifts

'Now for a test of the viewer's intelligence. . . Seeing if he's bright enough to turn it off .'

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

Introducing...Anagraman.

"Draw your own path."

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

"Oceans are rising, landmass is shrinking - so far so good."

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

Prisoner still life painting.

'He was working on a theory of entropy, and developed a severe case of it himself.'

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

Palm Reader...

"We shall now commence throwing money at the problem."

Ship's cook escaping in a saucepan.

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

'I love you and your father loves you. Now go paint a masterpiece.'

"Do you know Issac Newton discovered gravity in 1867? Before that people could fly."

"He may be a child prodigy, but it's still a lousy C.V."

'With my technical expertise, I could conquer the world!' - 'Do you and your little friend want some cookies?'

"Harold is a closet intellectual and he's never coming out."

As is often the case, many of the world's great discoveries are accidental.

'Things couldn't be better.'

"He's our ideas man - I can never tell if he's working or not."

'Password, password - come on Memory!'