Genies Gifts

"You really just want to watch me punch myself in the face three times?"

'You made your wish, now lie in it.'

'Sorry, pal, but the last guy who rubbed my lamp took everything!'

'We couldn't locate the fat gene, but we did discover the fat genie!'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Spirits in the bottles

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

A day at the transgenic races

Medicinal plants

Storm in a magic lamp.

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

'Here's one I made earlier.'

'ADN'

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

'Apparently your DNA is composed of battery acids instead of nucleic acids.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Money Tree

"I've devised a new paternity test, or as I call it, a pop quiz."

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

DNA doctor

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."