Gaucho Gifts

The little-known guinea pig gauchos of the western Andes.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

Wolf Karaoke

Karataoke

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Important Muscles.

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Ventriloquist Audition

Footballer playing for time

Alpha males through the ages!

Net Neutrality

'These drinks have been watered down.'

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

'What happened to the guy with the harmonica?'

"This is all my own hair."

Karaoke! - Fri: With Irony, Sat: Without.

John Travolta.

Barihunk

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

"It's garage music."

"Apparently it's demanding offerings."

"He who controls the Internet controls the world."

Jeans Styles

Football anagrams: Sing up goal ace. (Answer: Paul Gascoigne)

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

"Now we have Nancy Pelosi's gazpacho police spying on members of Congress."