Garbageman Gifts

Quit Hogging the Job

Quit Hogging the Job

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Deaths from Coronavirus

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I wonder what this was for."

"Oh, its just a fun fur that my husband got me."

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Does anyone remember which game we're playing?"

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

"Do you, Ashley, take Nesbitt and his genome to be your husband?"

'How old is this vase?'

I try to stick to hunting. My wife makes me take a list when I'm gathering.

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

Bargeman on a canal boat.

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.