Genome Guardian Gifts

"Do you, Ashley, take Nesbitt and his genome to be your husband?"

Hate Platforms

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Deaths from Coronavirus

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Monkey-artist

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

Bumble Bee

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Biodiversity

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

'No spell-check?? And you call this HEAVEN??'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

The new global mantra flag for the future

"Relax. They're just crows."

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

'This year, we can remove the words Glacier, Permafrost, Iceberg ...'

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."