Gallows Humor Admirer Pillows

'Sorry, we're shorthanded - please pass over the scalpel...'

"Wait, what?"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"We have a favor to ask."

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

"Oh, don't mind me..I'm a little early. Just go about your business...pretend I'm not here.

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

Fresh Blood In Politics

"A modest proposal: Why not arm the Trump administration for their own safety?"

"So laughter isn't the best medicine..."

'This had better be important, I'm in the middle of a conference call!'

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

"I guess the German takeover was successful."

"This pizza party tastes a lot like layoffs."

'If I hear one more person say 'Just a little of the top' I'm going to lose it!'

Finish Line

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

"We need 6 last meals over at table 9."

'It's not that I'm afraid of dying, Doctor... It's just that I don't want to be there when it happens!'