Gallows Humor Lover Pillows

'Wow, those are seriously scary tattoos.'

"Try not to roll in any dead gangsters today."

"Look, Grim, I'm really sorry. It's not you, it's me ... well, it's mostly you, like 85/15 ..."

"I love the murder part, but the cleanup is exhausting."

"Wow. A stretch hearse!"

"Oh dear, this is awkward."

"Just a little something to take the edge off."

"A modest proposal: Why not arm the Trump administration for their own safety?"

"My three sons" on an off day...

'Don't look at me. I thought you locked it.'

Man with needle in bum on his mobile "Yes, the nurse fainted"

Thank you for not breathing

Grim Reaper in van. Sign says: 'How's my scything?'

'Other than your butt being asleep, how's death treating you?'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Save Our Universe

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

"We have a favor to ask."

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

"Oh, don't mind me..I'm a little early. Just go about your business...pretend I'm not here.

"Wait, what?"

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."