Gallows Humor Appreciator Pillows

Finish Line

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"We need 6 last meals over at table 9."

"A last cigarette? Sorry this is a no smoking area. A last nicotine patch would be okay though"

"Two things, Debbie - I don't like your choice of dinner guests and my fish tasted funny."

Playing Fetch.

baby sweetcorn...

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"He was a sea rescue."

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

"They're so like us."

A Quiet Rebuke.

"Touché"

Divine Desk Bins

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

Couple using thier new garden hose in the rain

Sheep In Curlers

"My guess it's guacamole."

"It's nowhere near as far away as we thought!"

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

Telekinetics on strike...

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"Why T-Rexes do not play volleyball..."