Gallows Humor Appreciator Gifts

Finish Line

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"We need 6 last meals over at table 9."

"A last cigarette? Sorry this is a no smoking area. A last nicotine patch would be okay though"

"Two things, Debbie - I don't like your choice of dinner guests and my fish tasted funny."

Playing Fetch.

baby sweetcorn...

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"He was a sea rescue."

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"They're so like us."

Divine Desk Bins

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

A Quiet Rebuke.

"Touché"

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Comb Sweet Comb

Sheep In Curlers

Feline Evolution.

Couple using thier new garden hose in the rain

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"My guess it's guacamole."

"It's nowhere near as far away as we thought!"

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

Telekinetics on strike...

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."