Gagwriter Gifts

'Some gagwriter you turned out to be!'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Meet The Author"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Snowprov

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Mensa Does Improv

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

"Be or be not. There is no question."

'Hang on a minute...'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

Hollywood producer.

Actor practising his indian war crys

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

"Great money scenes!"

"That movie was very familiar...a cute little girl who hangs out with monsters from a secret world."

TV Situations vacant.

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."