Furry Friend Philosophers Gifts

Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Why do dogs have to bark all the time? It's arf for arf's sake!

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Skeptic Tank.

Cat Reunion

"Yes, one is a dog."

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'Next!'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"Dogs are men."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

"That's just not the real me."

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"Hold my calls for a while, Wilson."

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

The Inner Dog.

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

'Can't one eat in peace!'

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

The Guru is away to negotiate movie rights for his best-selling book, 'Money Won't Make You Happy'."