Fur-tastic Philosopher Gifts

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

Pigeon Little

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Reverse psychology

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

PET THEORIES

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

'Hard to follow...'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'Don't look at me!'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

"How do I get down?"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

Jeffrey's Time Machine: '...I want to go back and see what the world was like when people weren't so stupid and annoying!'

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"