Philosopher Of Fur Gifts

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

Cat Reunion

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

PET THEORIES

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'Hard to follow...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Dogs are men."

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"How do I get down?"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'