Feathered Philosopher Gifts

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

'You're just molting! It scared me too - the first time my feathers fell out!'

'The farmer says he's going to fly to Chicago. I didn't even know he had wings.'

"Oh sure it looks good from the outside, but you try bob, bob, bobbin' along, day in, day out."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Pigeon Little

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Family with pets.

bird interprets modern art

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Reverse psychology

Man about dog parasailing: 'He's a water dog and a birder.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

Jeffrey's Time Machine: '...I want to go back and see what the world was like when people weren't so stupid and annoying!'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"That could've been ours. But noooo...You and your DIY."

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

"It's called a "sanctuary": they fixed my broken wing, took care of me for a few weeks, then released me. Amazing..."

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

A man with a bird perched on his finger.

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

Are you kiddin'? Those babies are all made right here on the premises.

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'