Four-legged Friend Philosopher Gifts

'The animal psychiatrist said don't bother him with dog things- he doesn't know he's a dog!'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Dogs are men."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'Instead of throwing sticks, why don't we sit down and tackle some sudoku?'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'Sure, I could be independent, but it's so much nicer to allow myself to be spoiled rotten by Mistress...'

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

The Inner Dog.

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

The Guru is away to negotiate movie rights for his best-selling book, 'Money Won't Make You Happy'."

"The meaning of life at a glance"

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'Money can't buy friendship.'-'Neither can poverty.'

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

"You need a hobby."