Four-legged Philosopher Gifts

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

'I haven't had my day and I don't know any dog who has.'

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

PET THEORIES

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'Hard to follow...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Dogs are men."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Flea Philosophy.

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

"How do I get down?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

'You should try giving yourself a bath.'

'Instead of throwing sticks, why don't we sit down and tackle some sudoku?'