Furry Friend Philosophers Pillows

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Skeptic Tank.

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

Beware of the Dog Hair.

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Next!'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"Dogs are men."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

"That's just not the real me."

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"Hold my calls for a while, Wilson."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

The Inner Dog.

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Owning a pet is a big responsibility, not to mention never wearing dark clothing again."

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."