Furniture Shop Worker Gifts

Flat pack sales assistant

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"She does this when she's tired."

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

Nick Offerman

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

"I wish I'd never bought Harold that 3-D printer."

DIY.

Super glue . . .

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

Introverted Chair

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Irritable dowel syndrome

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"If you haven't got a TV, what do you point your furniture at?"

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."