Furnace Fixer Gifts

'When you're done fixing the furnace, could you gather up these Demons From Hell that escaped?'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"She does this when she's tired."

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

DIY.

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

Super glue . . .

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

"I bit someone once, but It was just to establish credibility."

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

Irritable dowel syndrome

Home Business - Printer Ink.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

Unfinished Furniture.

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

Young Roger Penrose: 'Dad, I want to become a floor tiler.'