Farm Fixer Gifts

'This injection is a combination of 16 drugs...

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

"I bit someone once, but It was just to establish credibility."

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

Horse Clean-up

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

Home Business - Printer Ink.

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

"Get back here and clean out your desk."

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

"So I can eat better here at work."

"For financial reasons we're selling this brick and mortar home and becoming an online family."

"With finances the way they are we had to give up the idea of a family holiday this year."

'Great poker faces.'

''E's going for the 'double'!'

Marriage counselor clients: 'Always right,,,never wrong'

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

Young Roger Penrose: 'Dad, I want to become a floor tiler.'

"The problem with our marriage is that we can't afford marriage counselling."

'You've done a fine job throwing money at problems, Senator, but I think it's time to bring in a reliever.'