Farm Fix-it Expert Gifts

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

The Jeopardy of Progress

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

"I'm sorry I bumped you, honey. Hello, tech support, I have a farmer in the Dell!"

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

"Sir, what is your position on the issue of banana control?"

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

Horse Clean-up

Problem Solver Wanted

World hunger

Old MacDonald had a startup.

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message after the peep.'

"We quickly realized it was fruitless trying to compete, so now we work together and sell blended wool..."

A chicken coop with a loudspeaker on the roof

Farmer using a photo editing program

'This is one way to 'round-'em-up!'

'Yes,we do have a small tractor that you don't have to pay a big-tractor price for.'

'No worries son, I'll manage with my saw until my hammer turns up.'

This one needs re-booting!

'Did you say that before you were a milker you used to work for McWit's Garage?'

"Farmers are always complaining about the amount of paperwork that Europe generates...but if you use your imagination then you can turn it to your advantage!"

'Nice abs control!'

"I keep forgetting. When do I cluck and when do I double-cluck?"

'Gee, Doctor Dresher, you have a wonderful way with horses....

Modern Shepherding

'Doc lost his new watch while checking old 32.'

"it has 256 ringtones and I can download more."

'Fun's over, the farmer installed a corn filter.'

Milk Machine

'This injection is a combination of 16 drugs...