Farm Techie Gifts

"Don't get me wrong I think these new GPS systems will revolutionise ploughing."

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

Okay, dig that one up!

"I'm sorry I bumped you, honey. Hello, tech support, I have a farmer in the Dell!"

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

Horse Clean-up

Old MacDonald had a startup.

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

A chicken coop with a loudspeaker on the roof

Farmer using a photo editing program

'I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message after the peep.'

"The only downside to free-range is I can't get a Wi-Fi signal out here."

This one needs re-booting!

Modern Shepherding

"I keep forgetting. When do I cluck and when do I double-cluck?"

'Look at it another way. Think of the money you'll save on tires.'

"I'm on the range, but I'm not home on the range."

"it has 256 ringtones and I can download more."

Milk Machine

'Fun's over, the farmer installed a corn filter.'

'This injection is a combination of 16 drugs...

I'm texting!

Agriculture and New Technologies

'I'm not sure why, but you sound muffled.'

Farm wife rings her husband rather than calling out to him to let him know that dinner is ready.

'I'm setting up a ring ID. When my phone 'oinks,' I'll know it's you calling.'

"And, who is this Alice Chalmers that you've started spending money on?"

'You were right: There's a needle in this haystack...'

"I never search my health symptoms anymore. It always seems to lead to barbecue."

"Let's skip the whistling. Just mail me on www.comeby.co.uk."

I'm still downloading...

'I know it's been three days since we installed it. As soon as we find the on-off switch you can start milking.'

Selfie With A Scarecrow

'I just thought if I got away from the barn, I could have some privacy.'

"You're hogging all the bandwidth."