Family Fixer Gifts

"He's your son-in-law, not a handyman."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

"She does this when she's tired."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

DIY.

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"I can't find the instructions."

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

Super glue . . .

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

Irritable dowel syndrome

Home Business - Printer Ink.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

"Get back here and clean out your desk."

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'