Family Tech Fixer Gifts

"Yes Dad, I can show you how to do that, but I'll be expecting a tech support fee."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

Computer operator welding machine.

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

"I worry about the parents when I'm off to college. They're totally dependent on me for IT support."

"One of the advantages to working from home is free tech support!"

'Ah-ha! I found the problem, dad.'

Marriage counselor clients: 'Always right,,,never wrong'

'Try rebooting.'

"Please—no technology questions!"

'Due to budget cuts, our school is not distributing report cards. They are available online for download. Luckily, I'm the only one in my family that is computer literate, not that I'll make changes or anything...'

Young Roger Penrose: 'Dad, I want to become a floor tiler.'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

To continue with tech support, you must be in front of your computer and have a soldering iron, a voltmeter and a circuit tester available.

"Dad, my doorknob broke...can you fix it?"

Leaking washing machine.

"You were right, dear, slippers, shiny floor and a grouting gun don't mix."

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

'I'm counting on you to explain to your parents how to view the e-updates on the healthcare plan.'

'This injection is a combination of 16 drugs...

"We got you a computer for your Birthday, grandpa."

"Don't worry, I've called IT support."

'How do you turn off the water if all of the handles are broken.'

"Spray me.""Trim me.""Prune me.""Mow me.""Weed me.""Fix me.""Paint me."

"I'm having a problem with the Ultra-Super Max Plumber's Helper you sold me yesterday."

"I don't want a plubmer who's always at my disposal."

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

'By the way, Alice, I unstuck that cabinet drawer for you.'