Tech Trouble Fixer Gifts

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

'Try rebooting.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"If you want proof that your email is working again, then you can read all the spam you just received."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Thanks for the leaf blower! I'm putting it to good use."

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

'Can you show me on this dolly what Bill Gates did to your computer?'

'WRONG PIN NUMBER!'

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

'The computer mentions 'virus' but I'm not sure whether it's in the software or you.'

Till malfunction

'Don't knock it. Since I put the candles up, the computer hasn't crashed all term.'

"We can have your drone here fixed in a day or. . . if it sits still."

Wringing the Monitor

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

"This program really isn't user friendly."

'Our techies assure us no one stole the data. There were no hackers involved. We just lost it, all by ourselves.'

'Our email program is on the fritz again.'

'Urgent customer announcement. Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the shop?'

"The good news is your virus is gone. The bad news is it infected your electronic health records."

The Office Dinosaur in: Mr. Fix-it

'Boss, the techies didn't install this body scanner correctly. It doesn't work.'

"You can count on two things in this life: tax code revisions and software updates."

Error: System clock is running 30 seconds slow!

'Help!'

"Your electronic medical records were accidentally deleted. You'll have to start over again with acne."

I tapped the keys repeatedly.

"I never gave you more than you could handle. Well, except for all those passwords."

"I think it's a computer virus."

Boy with his finger in a leaking water bed.

"Your call may be monitored to give us all a laugh....please enter your 23 digit telephone banking code followed by your 14 digit account no and your 24 digit security code..."

'I called the 24-hour Teacher Tech Support Helpline but they were closed. Apparently they are open 24 hours but not in a row.'

'For an English translation of what the tech support person says, press 2...'