Furniture Fixer Gifts

"She does this when she's tired."

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

'It's a work in progress of course.'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

Irritable dowel syndrome

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

DIY.

'Pete and I have what we call the '80 percent duct tape rule'. Once something is patching up with 80 percent duct tape, I can toss it.'

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

Cat scratching chair. Chair falls on cat.

Unfinished Furniture.

"Try to open Grampy's chair a little slower next time, puddin'."

"Hmmm...this doesn't shake like it used to. Papi! The wobble on this table is broken!"

"I was just kidding when I said that thing they sit on is a giant chew toy. I hope you can act cute, because you're in big trouble."

"We employ the finest New World craftsmanship. Staples and glue."

"I can't find the instructions."

DIY repairs.

Super glue . . .

Since Norman retired he likes to stay useful around the house.

"You're right, Doris - it was made in India."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

"It's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

F&E Upholstery. Is business finally picking up after the economic downturn? We're recovering.

Nature's revenge

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"I'll tell him the cat did it."

"Quick, act casual."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Waiting for Pants

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

Fumes from furniture