Furniture Fancier Gifts

"Damn King Arthur and damn his round table."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Man's best friends."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Get... a-nother room!"

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

The Venus Flytrap Leather Sectional

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

Man and woman buying furniture.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

"Why does the chair always get to chair these meetings?"

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

"This was probably an early Father's Day gift."