Furniture Fabricator Gifts

"I wish I'd never bought Harold that 3-D printer."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Interior design trends for parents....

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"Surprise!"

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

"The knights of the round accent table"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Fittd shēt

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

The Venus Flytrap Leather Sectional